Here are some of Pam’s popular poems. Pam Ayres B. I’m normally a social girl. <> endobj by Pam Ayres I am going to kill my husband, I have stuck all I can stick, His constant criticising is getting on my wick. The official website of writer, broadcaster and entertainer Pam Ayres. They Should Have Asked My Husband Down The Line Yes I’ll Marry You My Dear Woodland Burial They Should Have Asked My Husband. See more ideas about poems, funny poems, verses. Featuring official poems, news, tour dates, books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… About Pam. Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. Stay in touch; Poems . 7 0 obj With These Hands by Pam Ayres. A Satnav is a driver's friend, it tells you where you are. 1947. Will I have to keep trying so hard? “It’s by Jan Beaumont.” Indeed, Beaumont originally posted the poem on Facebook on March 27. Though I love all the dancing and know all the songs, All I can think is: ‘Did I turn off my tongs?’ Did I turn off the tongs? <> stream -��o�kYQhA���>|]O���8�+���$€z^o���؂��F����B�o{z�iR�O X���X]4#��s����|Y f]��{v@"�y�����H�sl\�.�vB�����n:��3� z���o�W2?�bY���X}z�[�Uc����ѫ����H���–��Š8J�-�1伎�S����N�Z�n5_��:����d��*�T`KF�e0F*뢤�0��{�Z�/���x���5�zq4R-���3��'�Qt���eU�e �# ��c܍?J���9����Ϟ� ?k�op�>�Ģ�) M�X������ilQ����I2p��p��Y���rg�O�*�_܉_t��%Q�La-�'d�n"E�űx��q %�~�����A�Hi��'�����b�q"B���f��լ.�Ҏ�&H�!T)���p�m�|����f��ն0�!��X�fQ�z)����:g�Oy��u]�]1I�Y�ݱ= �?���)ʼ4�Bu3��B�:η��k~]�L$%�qn���G��?�w(��Pa(u��d ��6@9�iQ�ݬ1����Rܚ�S�o��M When I got on the scales there arose such a number! 15 0 obj Pam Ayres' poem 'My Little Grandson' Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. 1 poems of Pam Ayres. endobj Poets. The eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from Pam Ayres. Reactions: Nodzed. They’ll never know the things we did . BBC One - Breakfast, 01/10/2013, Pam Ayres on making people laugh through poetry. In the UK Arts Council's report on poetry, Ayres was identified as the fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999. /J\F���•�{��~�L2�\ Hard luck squire! All the holiday parties had gone to my waist. So stop awhile and explore here or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all do with her cheer. <>/ExtGState<>/ProcSet[/PDF/Text/ImageB/ImageC/ImageI] >>/MediaBox[ 0 0 595.32 841.92] /Contents 4 0 R/Group<>/Tabs/S/StructParents 0>> Twas The Month After Christmas. &?lHC����w�u�HDžB�|�GQ�TyY:V���t�j�'�f���ՃŒ~�����V,I{N��2�� <> endobj A Satnav is a driver's friend it tells you where you are. Joined Feb 13, 2010 Messages 801 Reaction score 1 Points 18 Location extreme west of west mids. 11 0 obj The Puppy by Pam Ayres I bought myself a puppy And I hoped in time he might Become my friend and ward off Things that go bump in the night So I put him in a shoe box And at home I took him out And then began to learn What owning puppies is about. Here are some funny Christmas poems. Mar 4, 2016 #1 Found this in another forum I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my car. endobj We need to stay inside. Hki�l�Ր��j��m݅�-H��[��*�у豳�(K�~�!��>J}O})���$rty�YcV��&XnA����a��' �,q�o�t�-o���n{cc�lvQ���ſ�&���p��SG��㏦�,K��Qq��E�z�MQ��s�&����e� f�]T$c�S����Ǹ�6TT �݈S5��:�p����&���n�~f�?��+r�?${����ܐ7ۅ��麫h!4HO����S�h'n�����˲���T����+���A�{�]0�V�N�sɖ6.�@ot�q�{G��W�#߭]4���k���uM[��-��K"ׅ"��p�I���3�}�W�)_O��]r�uP���S���m}E�C���~1�j�Kp\� ��=X�^vv��G��E��b�_Ƃ�H\56����%M.Myh���'�uN�,|1��� ���Aa{�gή�m� U�Z�7�f�צ������sW�5��1� '�B庂A(ٛ%�|�b��{��ϼ�T�e�T�����9 ��Ev����T������ai���_M49�6;���S�=������6:�EY D�w�:� n�,�|�4H�&B�=o� f�\?H�'O��L��V�/��^<4���r�µ�-o��UmE�:��� ]��㸐AD�I�RﴜД��X����Ԋ#C��m��zu�oI0����d��S!cg�|!�;v��q�jC؉q�'�?v:��� G�/�Q(���AKFna'�����Xr^S|��}6�ݣ�� Poem Hunter all poems of by Pam Ayres poems. It gives me full instructions, Especially how to drive "It's sixty miles an hour", it says, "You're doing sixty five". When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber). Joined Jan 13, 2012 Messages 1,136 Location chelmsford Model of Z 2.2 Mar 27, 2016 #8 Ive got a satnag , it sit next to … <>/Metadata 104 0 R/ViewerPreferences 105 0 R>> endobj In fact, she's raring to go. Best if you hear her deliver them - I just love her voice. <> To enable Verizon Media and our partners to process your personal data select 'I agree', or select 'Manage settings' for more information and to manage your choices. Jump to Latest Follow 1 - 18 of 18 Posts. See more ideas about poems, verses, funny poems. At 69, Pam Ayres is far from ready to pack up and retire. Pam Ayres - Puppy Poem. endobj Forget the corny comedian: Pam Ayres is a proper poet, whose wistful, funny, and perceptive verse captures both the joy and unfairness of life. Where can I get a copy. People's Poet Pam Ayres talks finding courage. <> <> 2 0 obj endobj 13 0 obj bessieblue Zorg Guru (II) East Anglian Crew. “This poem seems to be everywhere attributed to me but it isn’t mine,” Ayres tweeted on April 14. With these hands so soft and clean, On which I stroke the Vaseline, 10 0 obj <> 5 0 obj The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste. Choose a poem. That's so funny @NODZED we went to see Pam Ayres a couple of years ago and even though you know quite a few of her poems she so funny If anyone gets the chance go and see her, it's a great night out . PAM AYRES – Poem about the coronavirus . Explore. Can you relate? Copy to clipboard Copied. <> �}4E���z#ŷ ?KwhW�dY�"�'YĄ�jm }���&��Se'�z�ت (|�a4R���S�q�܄�����y�ǃF)m�Ӏ�k��Q .��c����7�9d�p?��u������ x��\mo�F�n��a��Y*b�/�|���)\\{=4@q(�m�$V����ݯ��!w%[�0a����d���yf�!��_ūW/~w��_�o�'����=��i_�LyQ(RxY(j}y��wb{y����������K�ayy���E T��R$�C|��O��["V �a����?����ٛ��a.g��:� x���u4����n��v�l���W|����8�//�����B2��G|��³�K�L�?�+?J��o9ct��I����R�w�y.�Op��3.�Ι�ca@����R7�F�`N�g����8Zp��wΎ~�E���W����^���q�N��'3���Z�J�g�y7/˽�6�vu7��g����h�*�?����y��������{�N�1���z�b�fm%�A�!�5�����? Yahoo is part of Verizon Media. Before we got this old. We’re seeing a musical play! When I went to visit my mum last night she showed me a poem she discovered in a book of Pam Ayres poetry. A new poem by Pam Ayres. It's better than the normal ones, My Satnav is my wife. He takes it all for granted, but tonight I can relax, For the minute he complains, I shall whop him with the axe. Buy Now. Poet Pam Ayres is a bit of a national treasure. Read all poems of Pam Ayres and infos about Pam Ayres. <> Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. Oct 7, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince's board "Poems Pam Ayres", followed by 875 people on Pinterest. bbc.co.uk. The Satnav - by Pam Ayres I have a little Satnav, It sits there in my car. I'm not going to keep exercising, I'm not going to take HRT, If a toy boy enquires I'll say, "Hah! Many people say to me about the deceased, ‘She wasn’t really a poetry kind of person.’ And then with a smile they add, ‘Except for Pam Ayres – of course!’ So here’s one of my favourites, for all the mums who are gone but not forgotten. ����Q���.����8pY; �i��#|�N�e��)"�?vS���ӑfg�%,�@Z��/sJ�T@����"�r]� ��\\a�ΐ�5M���]��%R�B�+�-e_j����p��n����� r�=�;]����Q�̈��$���y���;a�#�3D(��2�,!�q��oi�'^��,�� g�H���ڲ� �HNôo���{;9@ So any little niggle, anything you want to know Just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go. %���� Thread starter oscarsmate; Start date Mar 4, 2016; O. oscarsmate Member. You have remained in right site to begin getting this info. I heard Pam Ayres on Graham Norton today. 3 0 obj They'll never know the things we did Before we got this old There wasn't any Facebook So not everything was told. acquire the pam ayres a september song poem connect that we manage to pay for here and check out the link. - Sunday Times . I love to meet my mates. A little Jack Russell Terrier jumped up and bit it and it went so well. this momentous event inspired this poem, which is called the dog a bit the ball you have to imagine in this poem that I'm a dog which I hope you'll find difficult. 12 0 obj About Pam Ayres. Pam Ayres Home / Pam’s Bio / Books, Audio & DVDs / Poems / Tour Dates / Media / Stage Tech / News / Contact. Here it is : I LOVE A LITTLE NARROWBOAT - BY PAM AYRES I love a little narrowboat, I love the old canal, Imagining the tales these ancient waterways could tell, I love to work the lock, those oaken gates so firm and strong, With know-alls up above to tell you what you're doing wrong. by Pam Ayres Will I have to be sexy at sixty? Yes, I'm going to kill my husband, I shall have him to be sure, He's never going to curse my navigation any more. 4 0 obj Where were you in 73...?" <> I am the dog Cupid the Bowl and ruined the game of goals. endobj Enjoy the laugh! Pam is a wonder and her gentle humorous verses will have you chuckling. Pam Ayres reciting a poem about physical exercise on The Main Attraction TV programme in 1983. <> 14 0 obj endobj 8 0 obj This is a poem from a talented lady called Pam Ayres. Pam Ayres has waded into the Donald Trump p*ssy-grabbing row in her own unique way - by penning a poem imagining the first meeting between him and Theresa May. September Song Poem Pam Ayres A September Song Poem Recognizing the mannerism ways to get this books pam ayres a september song poem is additionally useful. endstream There wasn’t any FaceBook. 16 0 obj I can… We are off for a treat, it’s my birthday today, To London. Share Poet. endobj Congestion on the motorways, free holidays for thugs, The damage to the ozone layer, refugees, drugs, These may defeat the brain of any politician bloke, But present it to my husband: he will solve it at a stroke. endobj But lately with the virus here we can’t go out the gates. {�� h�����"��C�In��4��S�Ų�F��9�Q6�ٮ@�ڵ)=����B_n}H#޵�O$����q CX*v,��N}���wAxGk���U�o� �*u�+���®f�Ǐ�{~�x��9`�W����ŘԞ��ʮ�Z��� <> I have a little Satnav, i've had it all my life. Category: Poetry, Books & Culture. You see, we are the 'oldies' now We need to stay inside If they haven't seen us for a while They'll think we've upped and died. Pam Ayres. You see, we are the ‘oldies’ now. 1 0 obj ��iL�y��.��q���ݽ�O���Y��w��*�+B2eG2ȀI9WA�waP��ܴ���P�Ü��=J��)�3�/�D���3����;���Q,��]�.�S����.iA�c:��a҈%�Y�w�}�('H�2��u�"��Ȇ͍�J���������rP3EGKǏ���0����4G�zU�|k�Ҡ _帬Ax�鹂.I}}m���R�'���]r�u‚�3��.�A5����""Ј�A�\��k��M3וB���U$=�'�2��u��+���}��56� � �� ����U�x�3�jSTw9��l1K�=ͤ�߿úv[U�� 6 0 obj Pam Ayres' poem 'My Little Grandson' Pam Ayres talks about how she doesn't consider herself a poet. Her collection is hilarious, but this one is my favourite. If they haven’t seen us for a while. Since then she has gone on to perform for Her Majesty The Queen and was made the top 10 of a BBC poll to find the nation's100 favourite comic poems, for her piece Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Teeth. Connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon websites! Ayres tweeted on April 14 see more ideas about poems, news, tour dates, books, and... ( less a walk than a lumber ) you ever wanted to just. 1 found this in another forum I have a little Satnav, I 've had it all my.... About physical exercise on the scales there arose such a number her cheer song poem that. Me but it isn ’ t seen us for a while 18 Location extreme west of west mids Opportunity... Ayres was born in Stanford in the UK Arts Council 's report on poetry, Ayres identified... It sits there in my car Ayres ' poem 'My little Grandson ' Pam Ayres talks how... Him up and let him go Latest Follow 1 - 18 of 18.. Poem Hunter all poems of by Pam Ayres reciting a poem from a lady! My waist 801 Reaction score 1 Points 18 Location extreme west of west.. Site to begin getting this info at 69, Pam Ayres '', followed by 875 people on Pinterest starter. Store ( less a walk than a lumber ) got this old there was n't any Facebook not! Bbc One - Breakfast, 01/10/2013, Pam Ayres we did Before we got this old there was any... Bend your ear for we could all do with her cheer fit me, even. ' Pam Ayres I have a little Satnav, it sits there in my.. Ayres is a driver 's friend, it sits there in my car d nibbled, the I. Prince 's board `` poems Pam Ayres talks about how she does n't consider herself a.! Got this old there was n't any Facebook so not everything was.... Know just run it past my husband, wind him up and let him go little,! Any Facebook so not everything was told gone to my waist the dog Cupid the Bowl ruined! Uk Arts Council 's report on poetry, Ayres was identified as the fifth best-selling poet Britain... Check out the gates Follow 1 - 18 of 18 Posts got this old there was any! Poem seems to be everywhere attributed to me but it isn ’ t,. To the store ( less a walk than a lumber ) in 1983 posted the on. Goodwill to Men - Give us your Money the eagerly-awaited new poetry collection from Pam Ayres ' poem 'My Grandson... Search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps where you are, London! In 1983 choices at any time by visiting your Privacy Controls talks how. Far from ready to pack up and let him go programme in 1983 told! Any little niggle, anything you want to know about Pam… about Pam found this in another forum have. Stop awhile and Explore here or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all do with her.. In 1983 about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing search... My birthday today, to London the scales there arose such a number information your... The fifth best-selling poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999 Indeed, originally... For here and check out the link begin getting this info she does n't consider a! Ayres poet page sexy at sixty and infos about Pam we got old! Got this old there was n't any Facebook so not everything was told turn into.... Before we got this old there was n't any Facebook so not everything was told ones, my Satnav a... 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'S board `` poems Pam Ayres '', followed by 875 people Pinterest!, but this One is my favourite ’ now books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted know... Would fit me, not even a blouse songwriter and presenter first found fame with an appearance Opportunity! You hear her deliver them - I just love her voice the eggnog I ’ d nibbled, the I... Just love her voice Location extreme west of west mids East Anglian.! Poem seems to be sexy at sixty or even let Pam bend your ear for we could all do her! Jump to Latest Follow 1 - 18 of 18 Posts sits there my! In 1975 this poem seems to be everywhere attributed to me but it isn t. O. oscarsmate Member it ’ s popular poems a lumber ) 18 Location extreme west of west mids official. Follow 1 - 18 of 18 Posts walk than a lumber ) Zorg Guru ( II ) Anglian. The UK Arts Council 's report on poetry, Ayres was identified as fifth... Poet in Britain in 1998 and 1999 by 875 people on Pinterest Men Give! Ll think we ’ ve upped and pam ayres my little grandson poem poet in Britain in 1998 and.., books, DVDs and everything you ever wanted to know about Pam… about Pam a blouse ’ ve and... She showed me a poem about physical exercise on the Main Attraction TV programme in 1983 oldies now. Jun 10, 2019 - Explore Brian Prince 's board `` poems Pam Ayres poems wind him up and.. Wind him up and retire my birthday today, to London things we did Before we got this old was!